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Writer's pictureDeb Carr

Happy Birthday Mum: I Wish I Had Said These Things To You When You Were Alive



Happy Birthday Mum.

It feels strange saying that when mum isn’t here on earth anymore, she’s in another dimension and most probably happier than ever. Mum passed away 8 months ago and in that time I have learnt many life lessons, and I guess those lessons are best shared in a letter that I am writing to mum, and sharing with my readers.

Dear Mum,

Where do I start? Firstly, with all the things I want to thank you for.


  • Thank you for having me when you were really only a child yourself.

  • Thank you for your love and protection of animals.

  • Thank you for being there for me all the times that I went through my life dramas.

  • Thank you for doing the best you could as a mother; despite my angry teenage demands that it was never enough.

  • Thank you for your patience.

  • Thank you for your love.

  • Thank you for the laughs.

  • Thank you for listening to me.

  • Thank you for being the best grandmother ever.

  • Thank you for being a faithful and loving wife to dad for all those years.

  • Thank you for going without sometimes.

  • Thank you for leaving your family to give us a home here in Australia.

  • Thank you, from the bottom of my heart that you opened your eyes and acknowledged each one of us who were gathered around you before you took your last breath, how you did that when you had been unconscious for two days, I will never know. I guess it was a miracle.

Then I have some apologies to make.

  • I’m sorry I was selfish with our relationship.

  • I’m sorry that I could have spent more time with you.

  • I’m sorry I dumped my problems on you.

  • I’m sorry I was not as tolerant as I could have been.

  • I am sorry I didn’t listen to you more.

But mostly I want to say this.

I love you. I rarely told you that when you were alive

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